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Snap out of it.

The words I had to tell myself this morning as I spent over half an hour scrolling through various social media feeds, wading through utter nonsense that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on.

I had to forcefully tell myself to get up and do my morning breathing and exercise rituals that I have set for myself.

I fed myself some positive vibes, straight from my own mind and made myself a 4-cup dripper full of coffee as I read through my mindfulness book.

It’s working, honestly.

Even if my days are not 100% positive I am already feeling a little more confident, a little less angry at the world, and a little more proud of myself. Despite that evil voice in my head that tries to suffocate me, I am learning to fight back.

I got this.

Writing

Monday Madness Begins.

7.30am Alarm. Snooze. Alarm. Snooze.
8.00am Boil the kettle.
8.02am Have a cup of tea.

The day begins with a bit of doodling whilst having my cup of tea, followed by a mad panic of jumping in the shower, throwing a handful of clothes around in a rush of deciding what does and doesn’t look right. Grabbing a bottle of water, rushing out of the day and shuffling down that awful hill to uni.

9.15am Wow, what a quick walk that was!

Nip across to Greggs to indulge in a bacon and cheese wrapped croissant and sat under an apple tree drinking my orange and passionfruit juice – so cliche. 

Lots of shuffling going on outside room SR-A06, mostly from me, the awkward only-masters student, surrounded by eager undergrads and as we all pile into the classroom, swiftly followed by a quiet teacher, it all begins.

好。 很好。 你好。

The awkward late-commers having no seats forced my mouth into saying what my brain was already thinking.

“I’m sorry but I think this class is going to be too easy for me.”

Off I go.

Walking up those damned heels again, mint-pointy shoes rubbing against my ankles and the sun beaming down onto my back.

Put the washing on, had a bit of a tidy up and wandered down to my cousin’s house to chill out, watch Alfie walk and listen to Olivia repeat “Eh eh ehhhh” a few hundred times.

Picked up a couple of reduced throws and cushions for our boring living room and now it looks much better!

Throws £1.50 Cushions £1.50 Cushion covers £3
Throws £1.50
Cushions £1.50
Cushion covers £3

Spent a good few hours studying my Chinese vocab book in Costa, with a rip-off large Mocha with whipped cream and chocolate, accompanied by a lemon&poppy seed muffin. Softened by the dreamy voice of Passenger in a desperate attempt to drown out the gossiping trio who decided to sit right in front of me.

Large Mocha with whipped cream. Lemon & Poppy seed muffin
Large Mocha with whipped cream. Lemon & Poppy seed muffin

The Events Society meeting was tonight, where I met some lovely ladies and a few gentlemen. Signed myself up for a couple of jobs this week and then a few of us sat in the beer garden munching on free chips and talking about Freshers and travelling.

Tonight's outfit. Newlook dress £10, Dorothy Perkins shoes £10
Tonight’s outfit. Newlook dress £10, Dorothy Perkins shoes £10

An evening with the housemates consisted of Catfish, Eastenders, Cilla and Family Guy. A continuous flickering of the volume switch and a desperate attempt to find the right time to have a drunken pizza and movie night. Thursday. That’s what we decided.

My room is still a mess. Along with my face. And my timetable.

IMG_6304
Le Mess.

But hey ho, it’s uni right?

That, and it’s still only the first week.

Life’s allowed to be just a little messy.

xo