Sometimes I get this weird wave of sadness, washing over my head and submerging me. Sometimes mere seconds, sometimes it keeps me there for hours.

All I want to do is resurface, but there’s only one person who can help me up again.

Pathetic? Sad? Weak?

Sometimes, I just need a little help.


Let me in?

These thoughts keep whirring through my mind,
Red alert typhoon of negativity.
Tape up the windows and barricade your doors.
This mind is on the path to destruction.

Saturday’s self-loathing is never enough.
It’ll eat through my skin and into my veins.
Your words only scratch the surface of this.
The question is, will you keep talking?

You showed up with your overflowing confidence,
and a kindness that doesn’t kill.
Your words could heal,
but will you let me in?


Sheffield Life

Troublesome Tuesdays.

Good evening lovely readers!

Yet another manic day which thankfully started with peanut butter on toast and a spoonful of fairygoblin.

Nom nom nom
Nom nom nom
Just a spoonful of Fairy helps the medicine go down…

I went along to the intermediate Chinese class today and boy was it a shock, but in a good way. I have forgotten so many characters and the 9am start certainly didn’t help. At least I was finally in the right place though.

I spent my spare hour studying before shuffling off to Research Methods, but not before buying my favourite green tea and a cute little pen! Although the lecture was so boring they should have given us pillows so we could nap.

A little birdie told me…

Then the mania began as I was rushing from the East Asian Building, over to the Journalism block and then back to the SU and I was honestly just running around like a headless chicken. As well as trying to find a yellow tshirt for HK Day tomorrow ❤

Jia You HK <3
Jia You HK ❤

No such luck.

Thankfully people were giving out free galaxy bars just inside the Student Union. I wanted to hug them.

I love you.
I love you.

I went along to a Mental Health Matters Society meeting this evening and the ladies provided paper, stickers, glitter glue and felts for us all to write / draw / design a pledge of our own for the next year. It was a really lovely meeting and quite good fun!

I pledge.
I pledge.

The walk home was tiring but the sky was just amazing. It was bright blue with whispy white plane trails, peachy clouds and the sun just lighting it all up. Too bad my camera died, again.

Healthy dinner.
Healthy dinner.

After a few very quick twin cuddles, I went home, put my pyjamas on and curled up on the sofa for a night of TV, which of course started with Eastenders and ended with the oh-so-hilarious 50 ways to kill your mammy.

I don’t have to set an alarm for tomorrow, although the fresher’s fair is happening and I don’t know if I should go.

Goodnight lovelies.



Minty Polka Dots

So you may, or may not, be aware that mint is the new in colour.

Fantastic, right?

Well, it’s a great colour, but not when every single girl you come across is wearing it in a jumper, or on their nails because then it becomes boring, monotonous and basically, an overkill.


Last year a bought a teenie bottle of Max Factor mint coloured nail varnish and it lasted me forever. I never took the colour off because I liked it so much! Just as my bottle ran out after Christmas I started seeing quite a lot of mint popping up in the stores, and now it’s everywhere you look. I was going to take a stand and not wear it, but I can’t help it.

So… on my day of procrastinating an awfully boring essay. I’m doing a bit of nail art.

Nothing fancy but using my favourite colours.. So here we go.


1. Kelly Brook Royal Mint £2.99 from New Look

Opinion: Really not that great. It’s streaky and the brush is quite hard.
I definitely won’t be buying this brand again

2. Bourjois So Laque! Blue Fabuleux (60) £8.99 from Boots Ta-Dah!

Opinion: A beautiful colour, gorgeous! But it definitely is not a 7-day wear. It chipped very quickly, within the next day and for the price it’s very dissapointing.

3. Rimmel 60 seconds Sky High (825) £1.00 sale from Wilkinson RRP is £5.99 I believe.

Opinion: Fantastic deep turquoise colour. Quick dry. Long lasting and a thick, flat brush which makes the application much smoother. I have a lot of colours from this brand and would recommend buying it if you see a colour you like.

4. Maybelline Color Show (Street artist top coat) White Splatter (02) £3.99 from Boots Ta-Dah! or Superdrug


Opinion: LOVE this nail varnish so much. It goes really well with purple, turquoise/mint and pale colours like nude, pink or white and has a great effect. They come in tiny glitter pieces, bigger dots, thin lines or tiny hexagon shapes in the colours of white, purple and turquoise. Doesn’t seem to chip and looks really funky. Definitely recommend buying this, even in other colours as they sell 4 or 5.


In the end I went for blue polka dots, a sky high stripe and white splatter on my ring finger!


It’s the climb.

From what feels like the very bottom of everything. It’s really hard to know how to control my actions, my feelings and my words. I know how I’m meant to behave, but it never seems to work the way I’ve planned out.

I’ve tried really hard the last few days to stay calm, breathe, explain how I feel instead of getting angry and spiteful. It’s worked, I’m just scared that when I go home tomorrow it will go back to how it was before the weekend. I realise when I’m about to get angry, and then I have what feels like a panic attack. I can’t breathe, I get dizzy and I feel like my heart’s going to explode. I can’t win with myself.

I’m not one to change so quickly. I’ve looked into seeing someone though, a counsellor or someone who can help me. It’s taken a long time to get it sorted, but I’m hoping by next week it’ll be underway. It seems like such a huge sign of weakness. To have to give in and admit you need help. But when it gets to the point that you’re starting to hurt people around you, something needs to be done.

It will be okay

I’m spending my morning on Oxford Street today, and despite being insanely poor, I need to treat myself to something.

To anyone still reading, thank you.

Personal, travel

Finally, a perfect day.

After an incredibly difficult week, it felt so good to finally be able to see and hug my boyfriend again.

We had an amazing lie in and didn’t leave the house until nearly one in the afternoon. We bought a day ticket for the underground and planned to see loads of new places, but instead we did the usual.

We got off at Covent Garden, listen to some fantastic music. This band were amazing. Violins and a cello were being played backwards, under the legs, behind the neck all whilst clapping, cheering and dancing. It was so upbeat and enthusiastic. I really hope they made a lot of money today.
We bought some drinks from Tesco, and found coke bottles With both our names on them!! happy days!

We strolled through Covent Garden, walked along to St Paul’s Cathedral, down to Charing’s Cross, Embankment and then all along the water, over a bridge to the eye and then past Big Ben towards St James’ Park where we finally stopped for lunch. Which was a Tesco finest meal deal. talk about supporting our employers.

We sat in the sun for an hour or so, people watching, bird watching and just enjoying the quiet. We picked up a balloon near the OXO towers, a music hall had an event where hundreds of balloons were floating around and each one had an act of kindness written on them. It was such a beautiful idea. They were all bright colours and people all over the city had them.

After that we made our way down to Victoria to catch the train home. We hardly stopped talking all day, it was just like when we first started going out.

It was perfect.


Proud moments.

There is nothing better than coming home after a long, stressful week and being hugged by my parents! Mum instantly made me dinner, Dad sat down and read my articles that have just been published in the newspaper.

As always, Dad tried to offer advice and ask questions, and mum just told me how wonderful and clever I am. I love my parents so much. No matter how many mistakes I make, or how many times I change my mind about what I want to do with my life, they still support and praise me.

It’s just ridiculously lovely to come home and not feel like I’m not good enough, or that I need to change, or be someone better. I’m not sure how four of us are going to live in this tiny flat for six months, but I’m certainly glad they are home.