Snap out of it.

The words I had to tell myself this morning as I spent over half an hour scrolling through various social media feeds, wading through utter nonsense that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on.

I had to forcefully tell myself to get up and do my morning breathing and exercise rituals that I have set for myself.

I fed myself some positive vibes, straight from my own mind and made myself a 4-cup dripper full of coffee as I read through my mindfulness book.

It’s working, honestly.

Even if my days are not 100% positive I am already feeling a little more confident, a little less angry at the world, and a little more proud of myself. Despite that evil voice in my head that tries to suffocate me, I am learning to fight back.

I got this.

Decluttering my head.

Lately I seem to be making some irrational decisions, and I have come to the conclusion that my life is an a fairly unstable mess.

With few friends, only a part time job and a shed-load of debt, finding the positives becomes a little difficult some days. Especially when you’ve just messed up the most wonderful relationship because your brain decides to tell you nasty things and fill your head with insecurities.

You often hear, “All girls are crazy!”, and right now, I feel as crazy as they come.

I have decided on a few ‘things’ to help me work through my cluttered mind, body and soul. (Yes, all of it. It’s a mess.)

  • Forgiveness – I have so many angry, upsetting memories that I just can’t let go of, but I have decided that I must. They are poisoning me. I will forgive people for what they have done wrong to me, I will forgive myself for my wrong-doings, and I will forgive myself for not taking care of myself when I needed it the most. I feel like this is a fundamental part of moving forward with my life.
  • Recognize my accomplishments – another negative is that I constantly put myself down about absolutely everything, despite having two University degrees and having worked 4 jobs throughout one of them. I can hold a conversation in at least two languages, and am trying to learn more. I can cook, sew, make a pretty decent coffee, I am creative, clever, occasionally hilarious and almost always kind to others. They don’t seem like such bad attributes right? So why, why, why, do I have such a negative opinion of myself? This is going to stop. Right now.
  • Breathing – Although I STILL haven’t been to a yoga class (it’s been 3 years I’ve been saying I’ll go, and I still haven’t.) I am starting to learn to breathe differently. I breathe to calm myself down, to relax, to think, to just be. It is absolutely unbelievable how much breathing properly helps in stressful situations. I am going to make even more of an effort to relax, breathe, and unwind during my days. Part of this will include finding a yoga class I can afford, and try and find an effective way to meditate.
  • Self-talk  – I constantly beat myself up and let my worries completely take over my mind, causing stress to my body and bringing out the worst in myself. I tell myself I’m useless, worthless, stupid, horrible and many other things. This will stop, as I said above, and I mean it. I am going to practice self-talk to bring more positive vibes into my mind, and to help rebuild my confidence (which is currently at about -10000). Negative self-talk can be immensely, emotionally crippling and damage our health more than we often realize, and I am going to stop it. I found an interesting article on Spirituality & Health on the benefits of Self-Talk, written by Linda Carbone.
  • WRITE MORE! I have noticed how little I write these days, compared to a year or two ago when I would fill notebook after notebook with thoughts and ideas and emotions. I am confident that by writing out my worries I can reflect better, and release my thoughts from my head, rather than bottling them up inside me, which leads to…
  • Being more open – I worry too often about hurting someone else’s feelings, therefore I keep my opinions or feelings to myself. If I feel that someone has been unkind, or is pushing me out, I let it bubble up inside and hurt myself, rather than discussing the issue. I 100% will be more open about what I am thinking and feeling, as this as once again caused a break down in certain relationships recently.

Whilst I have a few other options in the background (I am exercising more, and looking into mindfulness), I am going to start with these pointers and hope that they begin to make a difference.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice, please feel free to leave them in the comments section! xo

Beating Depression

We hear so many different suggestions and opinions these days on how to deal with mental health issues. Some are condescending, some are ruthless and others are ignorant. Some are light-hearted, some are serious and awakening, and others are completely useless. After a fairly difficult few days, I decided I needed a kick up the backside and dragged myself to the computer, to find as many suggestions as I could for naturally helping beat depression.

One of the pieces which genuinely stuck in my mind has been this one, 11 Ways to Beat Depression Naturally, by Maria Rodale. It is simplistic, honest and not at all patronizing. For me, I felt a sense of compassion coming from her writing, as if she was actively trying to reach out to some of us. That’s probably all my emotions going crazy on me, but I wanted to share it anyway in case it helps someone else.

Also, if anyone has their own suggestions or ideas for dealing with depression, anxiety or anything else, please leave me a comment below as I’d really like to know how other people cope.

Lots of love xo

Troublesome Tuesdays.

Good evening lovely readers!

Yet another manic day which thankfully started with peanut butter on toast and a spoonful of fairygoblin.

Nom nom nom

Nom nom nom

IMG_6306

Just a spoonful of Fairy helps the medicine go down…

I went along to the intermediate Chinese class today and boy was it a shock, but in a good way. I have forgotten so many characters and the 9am start certainly didn’t help. At least I was finally in the right place though.

I spent my spare hour studying before shuffling off to Research Methods, but not before buying my favourite green tea and a cute little pen! Although the lecture was so boring they should have given us pillows so we could nap.

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A little birdie told me…

Then the mania began as I was rushing from the East Asian Building, over to the Journalism block and then back to the SU and I was honestly just running around like a headless chicken. As well as trying to find a yellow tshirt for HK Day tomorrow ❤

Jia You HK <3

Jia You HK ❤

No such luck.

Thankfully people were giving out free galaxy bars just inside the Student Union. I wanted to hug them.

I love you.

I love you.

I went along to a Mental Health Matters Society meeting this evening and the ladies provided paper, stickers, glitter glue and felts for us all to write / draw / design a pledge of our own for the next year. It was a really lovely meeting and quite good fun!

I pledge.

I pledge.

The walk home was tiring but the sky was just amazing. It was bright blue with whispy white plane trails, peachy clouds and the sun just lighting it all up. Too bad my camera died, again.

Healthy dinner.

Healthy dinner.

After a few very quick twin cuddles, I went home, put my pyjamas on and curled up on the sofa for a night of TV, which of course started with Eastenders and ended with the oh-so-hilarious 50 ways to kill your mammy.

I don’t have to set an alarm for tomorrow, although the fresher’s fair is happening and I don’t know if I should go.

Goodnight lovelies.

                        xo

Mental Health in the workplace.

Hi everyone.
I’m writing my final University assignment on Mental Health in the workplace.

Ideally I would like to find someone who has had a bad experience at their place of work (past or present job) because they suffer from a mental health condition. If there is anyone willing to discuss this please contact me.

Otherwise, please would you take a few minutes to take my survey.
It will be greatly appreciated!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/89XGRX5

Thank you!