Personal

Leaving him behind…

… is something I’m struggling to deal with right now.

Our happy days were becoming too rare. The arguments increased. The stress made me sick. The constant running around made me resentful and tired.

So should I be feeling better? More positive? For leaving these emotions behind me?

What I feel is emptiness, loss, sadness, heartache.

My heart is aching for someone that never fought to keep me. That never answered my pleas. That never listened to what I had to say. Heard me, yes. Listened, no.

Why am I grieving something I knew would have to end at some point? Marriage was clearly not going to happen. Shouldn’t I be looking forward to a better future? A future I truly want?

Someone please enlighten me on why I’m feeling so down?

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Personal

Waves.

Sometimes I get this weird wave of sadness, washing over my head and submerging me. Sometimes mere seconds, sometimes it keeps me there for hours.

All I want to do is resurface, but there’s only one person who can help me up again.

Pathetic? Sad? Weak?

Sometimes, I just need a little help.